Time flys

Wow, been a longgggggg time since I sat down to write.
Big changes:
New Job! Working in an EPC company in oil & gas. Better money, better benefits.
Much less time with Ivy, but in the long run it will be a better fit for me and our future.
Personal front:  Things are strained.
Very very strained.
It has taken an emotional toll on me as well as a physical with depression taking over and me eating my way through it again.
Sitting with friends and family this weekend has put a few things in to clarity.
Knowing the clarity does not make it easier, or less painful, but it does give one a goal.
Walking into the town house, my chest got tight and my anxiety level went up and the depression came crashing back.
I know his feeling, I know what it will do to me.
Just let me get the strength of mind to stay the course for Ivy and I and do whats right.