a little lost, i think.

I am starting to get a little lost in my emotions lately.

I know everything will work out he way it is supposed to but sometimes....

you can't see the forest for the trees, you know?

Im just incredibly sad about a few things.

Stressed about money and making my budget.

Tired of making meal after meal without reprieve, even though I enjoy cooking what I make for Ivy and I is such simple fair to stay on budget, it's not exactly innovative or very rewarding.

I just don't have the budget for fancy cooking.

Plus by days end, I'm just soo tired.

There is no money in the budget for swim lessons, or movies out very often. Or dinner out. My budget was stretched thin with halloween.

Going out, unless it's free, is not an option right now.

And it isn't because i do badly for myself, things would be pretty much the same if we didn't have a mortgage. 

It's all the little things that come up when your part of a family.

prescriptions and dental, kid growing out of her clothes.

Plus, I realized that given my present set of circumstances I may not be able to attend a chosen family event in the future. No matter how hard we budget.

Or get married any time soon. Which breaks my heart. I would lose all my subsidies and I really can not afford that.

It all just seems a bit daunting right now.

I know I need to either get a new job or go back to school, but back to school is not financially feasible right now. I have a child to take care of and Dean is already working two jobs to help out here.

If I didn't have him I would be SOL.

He puts up with my nonsense.

As do all of you.

I know this will all turn around, I know I have amazing friends and a wonderful family.

I'm just moping and miss having disposable income.