it's moments like this

that make me wish things had never been as messed up as they were.

listening to him upstairs with Ivy for bed time routine. Bath time, pj's, story time.

he's been doing it for a week now, and I know it may not last much longer, it never does.

but for brief moments we get to glimps what life could have been like.

house renovated, stable routine, second child on the way, thriving business, future plans.

but then I remind myself, that this is but a moment and it will collaps, no matter how much I don't want it to.

We enjoy this for what it is.

For this moment.

I remind myself that where I am now is better for us all.

I will never trade the love that holds me close and keeps me safe for what could have been.