Shortly after having a very productive morning meeting, working away and my day is shaping up at work to be very very good.
I am on top of everything, it is going so well, the most impossible boss luvs me. I like this job a lot. I am good at this job.
I have a complete break down.
I ignored the signs, upset stomach for days, tired, on edge and then boooooom!
I'm sitting at my desk, doubled over in "pain" crying.
It was like watching a public health infomercial only I was the one in the spot.
My boss makes me tea, the AA on the client side takes over anything that comes in, my friend on another project covers my board rooms, I have the technical engineering manager offering to drive me home.
I get myself home - embarrassed with "the flu" - I walk in and have a complete mental break down.
Dean is cleaning the house, changing the sheets on the bed, doing the laundry , vacuuming, doing dishes and I attacked him verbally- I am hysterical and inconsolable.
He is so confused and he is trying not to loose it on me- I am hysterical and just freaking out crying.
He finally leaves the house to do an errand because I don't know what I need or what to do, I want to be left alone i want him to fix it, I just keep going.
I stop sobbing two hours into this and I'm numb.
I am playing a video game- just because I don't know what else to do.
He walks in with Iced coffee and a sticky apple fritter and places it on the coffee table for me and smiles. Walks away.
He comes by a little later and asks me if its ok to hold me now.
I'm better, I make arrangements to not be alone last night.
He is worried.
I'm worried.
It has been years since anything like that has happened.
Anxiety or depression or PMS I don't know what it is- but it is getting worse each month.
This time it effected my work.
Next time it could effect Ivy.
Doctors office here I come.
1 comment:
HUGS!
Post a Comment